That's part of the refrain of "Moonchild," one of my favorite tunes off Chris Cornell's exquisite "Euphoria Mourning" CD from 1999. It is just glorious..... Like the moon.
I'm a Scorpio, not a Cancer, so I don't get the privilege of calling myself a true Moonchild. But the Moon Lady and I have always had a special kinship. I've never been afraid of the night as long as I could see her light. I can look at her and feel glorious, I can feel loved and safe.
My first memories of the moon were from the early days of my childhood and when we would head to Georgia to visit Pop John & Aunt Mary. We would usually leave at midnight, after Dad got home from his afternoon shift job at the mill... How he drove the 8 hours having worked a full shift AND having gone to class that day, I'll never know. Yes, I know he was young then and at that age I might have done the same. Nah, I love sleep like a fat kid loves cake. I wouldn't have. But anyway Mom would try to get me to fall asleep in the back seat -- back in the days when you could throw down a blanket across the seat and belts? those were for wimps -- and to help me, she'd say, "Look out the window. See? The moon's following us...." Yeah, just the thing to lull me to sleep. I wanted to stay awake to see how long the moon would follow us!!!
My next memory of the moon was me around age 6, staring out at a bright moon and trying not to be caught awake. I shared a room with my Granny, and I didn't want anyone else to wake up. I had something in my mind and figured I ought to pray about it. So I got down on my knees next to the window, and stared up into the bright moon, as if perhaps God resided there. I mean -- why wouldn't he? It was such a pretty place, so sure!!! So I stared up at the moon, told God my troubles and marched it back to bed. I don't think I got caught..... but if I had, seeing that gorgeous moon..... Ah! it would have been worth a spanking.
The moon has seen me through a lot. I'm sure she wept on a cool late winter night 25 years ago, when I was my soul was so battered that I could not bring myself to gaze in her light and see the good that was present in me.... when all I thought about was how to end it all. Her heart hurt on nights years later when I cried into my pillows over love gone wrong.
These days, I've been digging another Cornell "moon" song off his newest CD (Higher Truth) called "Worried Moon":
Worried moon, I'm afraid of what's to come
Worried moon, yeah tell me what you know
Worried moon, you see further down the road
Worried moon....
It especially speaks to me now, when so much in my life had been flipped upside down and normal is no more. Well, rephrase, where there is a new "normal."
The moon will be there, shining down her love and brightness...... and "I won't be losing my way, no no no, long as I can see the light." Thank you, John Fogerty, and dammitall, don't you go dying too.
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