30 Day Writing Challenge 2 - 4/2/16: Ash

I always race to church for Ash Wednesday. Mostly due to the commute between work and church, but I was eager to get Lent going this year. I think back -- how many Ash Wednesdays have I celebrated now? Since 1991 that I recall. That was the year I gave up swearing, only to blow it in the elevator on the way back to the dorm room. My 26th year now..... Last year's was done while trying to work around the pain of a newly reconstructed foot (well, toes) and manage to sing a solo loudly enough while being seated.

I know what it is to be burned, to be crushed to death by my own fiery nature. And I also know the thrill of emerging once more, a phoenix from the ashes of my own destruction, again and again. And each year since '91, signed with ashes: "remember you are dust and to dust you shall return."

I plan to indulge myself in ashes this year another way. I intend to write out some portions of my life story that need to be purged from my memory as much as possible....... I will write it out, and set it on fire. As the smoke rises and the wind carries away those things of which I want to divest myself, all that will remain is ash. What I do with those ashes? I don't know. If I could add them to compost somehow and make the world better.....

And four weeks ago today, my mother's eternal essence took flight and her earthly remains were taken to become ashes. We chose cremation for several reasons, but immediately agreed that we would bury those ashes rather than have them here at home. Having a place of repose was important, and now there is no worry about Mom's remains in the event of a fire or other disaster ("quick, grab mom!")......

Ash: powdery residue of what was once whole. Whether you rise phoenix-like is up to you.