This is almost too easy an assignment, and yet not as easy as I thought.
Music -- like who doesn't know that about me? It doesn't just complete me, it consumes me. It is what runs through me and has as long as I can remember. I want to focus more on making my own music, even if for no one else's enjoyment but my own.
Reading -- I'm also a sucker for words, their meanings, their uses, how they bring ideas to life. How words magically become sentences, then stories, then woven into your own life's tapestry. Like music, reading has been interwoven into my own history. I do not remember a time when I did not read.
My faith -- I am not joking when I say I couldn't make it without it. I'm not a daily Bible reader, my prayers are often along the lines of "okay God, you know the big picture better than I do, so whatever...." and I'd be lying if I said I didn't entertain questions and doubts, even in my belief. All I know is that I'm not losing anything by believing, and that if I'm not exhibiting love for humankind as I should, call me out on it.
Coffee -- sweet nectar of the gods, I could not manage without you. I am also heavily dependent upon your cousins, Diet Coke and Diet Mtn. Dew to assist me in my efforts to simply "people" each day. I'm no misanthrope, and you make sure I don't walk that line. Thank you, dear ground-up precious bean, for your mighty work.
My dog -- my precious pup has been with me nine years now. My time with him grows shorter, and I am so appreciative of the adventures we've shared. He became my mother's boon companion for those years and worships the ground my father walks on. But he's my baby, upon whom I've lavished affection and received far more in return. When the time comes, and he leaves me..... I can't even think about it now.
My godchildren -- it has been my greatest honor, joy, blessing to watch this sister and brother become amazing young adults. I'm not sure I could be more proud of them than I already am. They are smart, conscientious, fun-loving, and amazing. In them, I do have hope for the next generation and beyond.
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But even in all this, somehow my life is incomplete. Not because I'm single and childless; I reconciled myself to those things some time ago. Those are small things, or so it feels most times.
Seventeen weeks ago today, I lost a piece of my heart I can never get back. In fact, it was four months to the day since she said her final word to me: my own name. Yesterday, driving back to the office from lunch, I swore I heard her voice in my head saying, "Hey hun!" And I nearly had to pull over. I just quietly mouthed a half-whisper "Hey Mama..." and let my eyes leak for a couple of minutes.
I never ever imagined this. Ever. I've had my cousin and three other close friends all lose their mothers this year. I am not sure we'll ever feel complete again.
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