Something You Miss
Hmm..... Wow, something that I miss. Well, there are things that I miss that are impossible to ever get again:
* the beautiful, sweet days of my childhood summers when the world was wide open before me and I could choose to do anything I wanted...... And it was usually either ride my bike or stay inside and read.
* Christmas Day gatherings with my huge extended family at Granny's, and we cousins eating on the stair steps because there was just no room to eat anywhere else.
* Uncle Jack's little "Opry" building and his amazing generosity in letting his niece sing there on occasion. And as much as I'm not necessarily into country and bluegrass, I miss the camaraderie of those events ..... simple little jam sessions to actual bands who'd practiced! Heck, I even miss (now) the jam sessions from those Christmas dinners, now that I'm learning to play (though my uncles and I would not be on the same page musically)!
* I really miss my mom being more independent. I miss the woman who raised me to be strong and to just do, just get in there and do! I miss the person she was because I really struggle with the person who is. It is the most difficult transition I have ever witnessed..... And not only do I hate with a passion what it has done to her, I really hate how it has changed us all.
* I miss me. Somewhere in the last year, I've apparently had a marked personality shift, enough that some people have noticed and noticed some of the not-so-good changes. I don't want to lose the things that changed that I need to propel me forward but I do need to drop some of the other things..... a lot of negativity and darker colors that seem to have made their way in. I don't want the doormat me back -- I do NOT miss her by any stretch! But it seems something does need to change..... Where? How?
I miss more than I thought, perhaps.....
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