First Kiss: I'd really rather not discuss, because it was such a disservice to the then-young man in question. It was during a game of Truth or Dare, and he did not enjoy being part of it. Quite honestly, if I could go back in time, and have a do-over, I'd have given him a "get out of jail free" card, so to speak. It wasn't an awesome kiss like it should have been, and I came away thinking, "Nah, not going to really count this...." But I did anyway. So to "Jay" .... my deepest apologies. You deserved better, and really we both did.
First Love: Funny thing..... I spent a weekend recently ruminating on this person and decided I was DONE with the memories once and for all. DONE. It was a relationship that was doomed from the outset, and went on far longer than it should have, thanks to my own stubbornness to let go. We were two people who were not mature enough to discuss our issues like adults because we were just too polite. I changed everything about myself (personality-wise, anyway) in an effort to continually win him over. DOOM, I tell you, DOOM. That never works. If I had been myself and (more importantly) stayed true to myself from the outset, then yes, the relationship would have ended sooner, but there would have been far less heartbreak. As I say, I made the decision not all that long ago that I no longer wanted to entertain memories of this person, and I realized how many things from that time in my life I lost interest in after he left...... I could write whole new verses to Audioslave's "Doesn't Remind Me"!
The things that I loved, things that I lost
Things I held sacred that I dropped
I won't lie no more, you can bet
Don't wanna learn what I'll need to forget......
So really, that's all I have to say about that person. He was once my world, and when it crumbled, I had to rebuild from the ashes and shreds that were left. I daresay I did a damn good job of it too.
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